One-Page View
Supporter Instructions
One page that tells a supporter what to do, what not to ask, and how to keep the say with the person resting.
A keep-close version. Read it here, or screenshot this page to have it on your phone — print and PDF copies will appear once final files are attached.
The page handed to whoever helps — written by the person who knows exactly what helps. Following it is caring, not coldness. Supporters: your job is mostly quiet action.
What to do
- Keep the water filled — every time you're passing
- Keep the house quiet and low-lit
- Carry the messages — only one was ever sent
- Do the visible tasks without asking — dishes, bins, doorstep
- Accept one word or a thumbs-up as a full conversation
- Check in only at the agreed times
What not to do
- Don't ask 'what can I do?' — the plan is the answer
- Don't ask what caused it — the review is optional and later
- Don't visit unannounced, even briefly
- Don't re-do tasks differently once they're done
- Don't require the story to be retold
- Don't treat silence as distress — it's capacity, and it's the plan
The agreed check-in times
When and how
e.g. A text at midday and 6pm, expecting no reply
When to act beyond the plan
Reaching out for urgent help is accurate, not dramatic.
- New, severe or significantly different symptoms — help arrange medical assessment
- Breathing, chest, fainting, or severe new head pain — that's a call today, not pacing
- When in doubt — the person's 'normal for me' note says what's usual
The best crash support asks almost nothing. If you've been given this page, it was written on a better day by someone who knows exactly what helps — trust it, and let the quiet be part of the care.