One-Page View
Guilt Audit
Separating useful guilt (which closes when its task is done) from conditioned guilt (which closes when it's seen clearly).
A keep-close version. Read it here, or screenshot this page to have it on your phone — print and PDF copies will appear once final files are attached.
Guilt has two kinds, and they want opposite responses. One points at something you can do. The other is an old rule firing, pointing at nothing. This sorts yours — and the sorting reliably shows that most chronic-illness guilt is the second kind.
The guilts that come round
Write-in-a-word territory — tick the ones that live here, and add your own.
- Resting during the day
- Needing help
- Cancelling plans
- The dishes / the state of the house
- Missing someone's event
- Being 'behind' on the life schedule
- Not earning / contributing
- Being irritable with people I love
Which ones point at something?
Useful guilt points at an action — a repair to make, a message to send, a capacity change to consider. If there's a clear 'next thing', it belongs here.
Which ones are old rules firing?
Firing regardless of anything you did — for resting, for needing, for existing at less than full capacity.
For the useful kind: the thing it points at
And it closes when…
e.g. The missed match: a message sent, and a reminder set for the next one — done
For the conditioned kind: the recognition
You cannot obey your way out of it. You can only see it clearly and stop treating it as evidence.
What I'll say when it fires
e.g. That's a rule firing, not a verdict. Nothing was wronged.
Seeing conditioned guilt listed for what it is doesn't delete it — but it changes its weight, from evidence against you to weather passing through.