Why prepared wording helps
The moment a sentence is most needed — mid-appointment, mid-flare, mid-fog — is precisely the moment nobody has capacity to compose one. A saved note does the composing in advance: the hard conversation then costs only the showing, not the writing. And because the same situations return weekly — the slow reply, the cancelled plan, the request for written information — one good sentence serves many occasions.
Make these sound like you. Everything below is a starting shape; the version worth keeping is the one in your own voice, adjusted until it feels like something you would actually say.
Notes by situation
I need more time
- ““I need a little longer to process that.””
- ““Please give me a moment before asking the next question.””
- ““I'll answer — I just need you to wait a beat.””
I cannot talk much
- ““I can understand you, but speaking is difficult right now.””
- ““Please ask yes/no questions where possible.””
- ““Text is easier for me today than talking.””
I need less input
- ““Please speak one at a time.””
- ““I need the room quieter.””
- ““Could we take this one conversation at a time?””
I need to change plans
- ““I'm not able to manage this today.””
- ““Can we rearrange rather than cancel completely?””
- ““I need to shorten today's plan — still glad we did it.””
At an appointment
- ““I've written down my main points because I may lose track.””
- ““Please write down the next step.””
- ““Could you give me that in writing? I'll remember it better.””
With family and friends
- ““I'd still like to be included even when I cannot always join in.””
- ““I may reply slowly, but I still value hearing from you.””
- ““You don't need to wait for me to reply — just keep telling me things.””
Notice what is not in these notes: an apology in every line. Being clear about what helps is not the same as being sorry, and a note can be warm, plain or matter-of-fact — whichever makes it easiest to send. Most of these are also not boundaries in the dramatic sense; they are practical information, like directions to the door.
Where the notes can live
Any of these formats work; the best one is the one that is available when needed:
A text message, composed on a better day and saved as a template
A printed card — shown rather than explained, which removes the sentence entirely
A phone note, open at the right heading before the conversation starts
A communication board or page, where pointing works better than speaking
A supporter sharing the message with permission — the words are yours; the sending is theirs
For many more situations, the Scripts & Phrases book covers communication, boundaries and low-energy days in depth.
When speaking is very limited
For people with severe and very severe ME/CFS, speech may be minimal, briefly possible, or not available at all — and understanding usually remains fully intact, which is exactly why short notes matter so much. Single words and short phrases, written large on a card, phone screen or communication board, can carry most everyday needs:
A supporter can hold the same list, with the person's permission, and read the answer from a glance or a gesture. What matters is that the wording belongs to the person doing the communicating — even when someone else's hands are doing the showing.